You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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