we made out on top of his cat.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
