You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
