i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
