Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone