...so i touched it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
