Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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