it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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