remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
