Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
