i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
why does every cop we meet know your name?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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