The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
