What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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