I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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