my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
