you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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