Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
