Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
