If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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