you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
