i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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