If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
