Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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