apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
