How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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