Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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