This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize