worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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