I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
