similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
