I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Bring me that man meat
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
