every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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