first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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