What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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