My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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