What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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