Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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