Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
