:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize