Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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