Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
