Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
