This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
