so let's talk penis.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
