..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
