I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
