last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
