we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
