I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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