so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
