Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
