i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
