i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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