he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
