my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
