I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
