Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
