I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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