i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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