where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
