Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it's like heaven, but drunker
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
