After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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