The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
