Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
