It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
