my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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