and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
