apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
