She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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