That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
