the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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