May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
