You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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